Two collections. Two ways to “invest”
Every bird procedural. Every bird unique. Every bird, hat. The Bird Hat Grift Club Collectibles are a flock of birds randomly generated from hundreds of unique traits and hand-drawn artwork, presented as one-of-a-kind, collectible NFTs. Every bird is different, and every bird has its own name and its own story. See samples here.
The most valuable* NFT artwork of all time, priced to appeal to crypto whales, money launderers, billionaires, and inexplicably wealthy bird enthusiasts. If mere wealth is not enough, Bird Hat Grift Club: Originals will give you the bird+hat badge of honour you’ve always craved.
CREDIBLE MEDIA OUTLETS
This isn’t really an attempt to sell NFTs. It’s about not selling NFTs.
If I do actually do manage to sell any, then I believe the high price will allow me to spend the money on doing useful and/or fun things, as outlined in the roadmap.
But I believe there are better and more accessible ways to support artists than selling NFTs. So I’m making it a race. Web 2 vs. Web 3. If you want to support me , do it however seems best to you, and may the best tech win. But don’t take too long, or there might not be any NFTs left to buy…
YOU HAVE OPTIONS
BUY ORIGINAL ART
I’m listing every original Birds in Hats painting I still have for sale at my website, Two Ruru. For every original that sells, I’ll remove its corresponding Original BHGC NFT from sale, and it’ll never come back.
What’s more, the buyer of the original painting must sign a contract guaranteeing that they will never, ever, turn my work into an NFT. This makes my artwork truly non-fungible. Revolutionary stuff.
SUPPORT ME ON PATREON
I’ve created a Patreon with a bunch of Bird Hat Grift Club membership tiers.
For everyone who signs up to my Patreon, I will randomly remove 10 of the generated Bird Hat Grift Club Collectible NFTs from sale. They, too, will never come back as NFTs. This line of text is just to get the page design symmetrical. I’m very tired.
BUY A PRINT
I’m also selling prints (digital and physical) at my website. For every one that sells, I’ll remove 1 generated Bird Hat Grift Club Collectible NFTs from sale.
COMISSION A CUSTOM PAINTING
I’ve set up my website to take commissions (pay upfront or we’ll suss by email) For every commission that sells, I’ll randomly remove 50 of the generated Bird Hat Grift Club Collectible NFTs from sale.
Just like the NFT roadmaps, these are all things I will actually do if I sell a certain number of artworks or get a particular number of patrons. Because they represent less money by an order of magnitude, they’re a bit more… boring. But for those that are interested, you can follow along, and I’ll post proof of all of them.
- 100 patrons and/or 1 original sold: I get the roof gutters fixed
- 200 patrons and/or 2 originals sold: I get the slightly suss shock absorbers on the car fixed
- 300 patrons and/or 3 originals sold: I’ll build a chicken coop and get some chickens. Fresh eggs!
- 400 patrons and/or 4 originals sold: I pay off my hire purchases with cold, hard cash
- 500 patrons and/or 5 originals sold: I fly my Australian family over to NZ to see my son, pandemic permitting
- 600 patrons and/or 6 originals sold: I buy the boy a puppy.
- 700 patrons and/or 7 originals sold: I get a really nice camera and home studio setup for my YouTube channel
- 800 patrons and/or 8 originals sold: I give the current car to someone who needs it and suss a brand new EV. I’m thinking a Hyundai Kona Electric
- 900 patrons and/or 9 originals sold: I pay off my wife’s student loan
- 1000 patrons and/or 10 originals sold: I start doing art full-time
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?
There are a *lot* of FAQs. Well, that’s not quite true, because no-one has actually asked any questions about this project yet, as it’s brand new. But here are some things I think people will want to know. You can read the FAQs here.
9323 NFTs remain.
Let's get rid of them.
Every day, we'll be checking to see how many, if any, non-NFT artworks have sold and/or how many NFTs have been minted, should that actually happen.
We'll update the number of NFTs remaining accordingly, and post updates whenever warranted.
Back when my first NFT article, Needless Fucking Things, was posted on Webworm, I got a bit of backlash from NFT enthusiasts. Most of it was vitriol but at least one person said they could do an actual point-by-point critique. The critique followed, which you can find...
Things continue to happen! After the initial media frenzy consisting solely of the article on Webworm, the early surge of art sales has subsided a bit. But good people are continuing to pursue their passion for ridding the world of NFTs and supporting artists, and...
It's been a long day, with regular bursts of social media in between long spells of day job, but the Bird Hat Grift Club has finally and irrevocably launched! Six months of very silly effort has led up to this ridiculous moment, with my announcement about the project...
Here we are at the start of the Bird Hat Grift Club! Nice to have you here. I'm going to use this blog to post updates on the number of NFTs remaining, assuming anyone either a.) buys any of my artwork to get rid of a few NFTs or...
Join the Bird Hat Grift Club Community
Because it wouldn’t be an NFT grift without a Discord server, I’ve created a Discord server. Come and join the Bird Hat Grift Club community in a scintillating discussion of birds, hats, grifts, clubs, and of course NFTs and art. Below is a sample of just how much fun we’re having.
It’s mostly just me, but these projects always look marginally more credible when they list some team members, even when those members are psuedoanonymous and/or not real. However, these people are all real and either helped in various ways or watched in bemused horror. Their assistance and concern is deeply appreciated.
Frustrated artist. Writer. Algorithmic bad idea generator. Wasted several months of life on this project despite short attentio
Proofreader. Ideas woman. Outsourced conscience. Fully mobile vending machine. Unfortunate romantic tastes.
Bit-wrangler. Infosec stan. Chef specialising in the second half of the idea-baking process. Artist working in the medium of recursion and redundancy and recursion and redundancy.